I remember taking my redundancy, I think it was 2011, and having big plans of setting up my own coaching business with dreams of helping and inspiring people AND embracing a new found freedom and work/life balance. STOP. Naw. That wasn't going to happen so easily! Mum started going down hill it seemed straight away after me freeing myself of my chains of employment. Social work helped, my brother helped and obviously dad did too but she got progressively more needy.
Push came to shove when dad had a stroke in January 2013, although we'll never know exactly what triggered it, I certainly believe that his caring responsibility for mum played a part. Mum was already in hospital with a bad chest infection when it happens so she had to remain there while we figured out what to do.
She came home for a few weeks but it was clear that she needed 24/7 support and after a day when she 'escaped' and went wandering we got her a place in Nazareth House care home. It was the only care home that mum perked up when I mentioned it - she was a devout Catholic and was familiar with the nuns so it seemed like a suitable place for her. I didn't like the idea of her going into a care home let alone one she wasn't happy with. I've since learned there is a LOT more to choosing a care home than the comfort zone of the prospective resident. Mum was there for about 5 weeks and she was miserable, I've never seen her so sad. She cried, her behaviour was more erratic and confused than normal and she was desperate to go 'home'.
So we did. We brought her to live with us. I'm a big believer in living life with no regrets and I felt that I needed mum to live with us so when the times comes and mum is no longer with us, that I had tried my best. We knew it would be difficult, we thought we had our eyes open and every day since has taught John & I something new about mum, about family, about dementia, about social work, about 24/7 care, about each other and about life and love. It's been a learning curve.
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