Blogging can be therapeutic for some but I think for me I need to feel resourceful to put myself 'out there'. And I haven't of late.
Mum passed away on the 10th of January 2015, a few days after celebrating her 80th birthday. She had a chest infection working on her but her passing was much more sudden than any if us expected. She died fairly peacefully at home with me & my brother close by and John & the kids in the next room.
The strange thing was her passing when she did was her last gift to me as I had only just accepted that I was no longer coping when I place in the care home we used for respite came up. She was due to move in the next week and passed away before that dilemma came up. Could I have moved her while she was ill into a new place? Could I have coped if she had rallied again after turning down the place?
That day was the first day I called my brother and told him with no doubt I needed him with me. And he heard me and came. For that I am forever grateful. And I know he is too.
So the last wee while has been hard, grieving is rubbish but I'm learning to ride it - the way I've described it is being sad but glad. I miss her but I'm so glad she's not suffering any more and I got to love her as much as i did.
She told me she loved me.
And she told me brother to be good.
Pat, a lady who will always make me smile xx
